Well, I found out what happens when you total your car and an airbag hits you upside the head. One becomes just a tad surprised and a wee bit disoriented what with the car crumpling into you and all. As you sit there wondering how you will get out of the vehicle which has locked you in place via seat belt, you marvel that you chose a Range Rover over all other options to whack with a car that isn't really yours - it's your employers. Or, more accurately, it was. And, given that a Range Rover weighs approximately 17.23 tons and a Chrysler Sebring doesn't, you are glad that you didn't hurt anyone in the Rover which, not surprisingly, just got a bit teed off and allowed it's bumper to dent. A little.
And, as one would certainly expect, I managed to pull this little stunt in front of 12-20 paparazzi. Those fun folks who also go by the name of teenagers and who were waiting for their school bus in a little shelter. Couldn't have planned it better - I nailed a Rover right in front of a reviewing stand. Don't know how many people can say that. Gave me the sensation that I was the star in some perverse North Korean weapons day review for gosh sake. And, apparently due to the regulation that all teenagers are required to carry some type of cell or I-phones for just this type of event, I had my picture snapped over and over while I was being extracted from the car by kind folks wearing those paramedic uniforms. And then I was photographed again and again while being strapped to some board like the one used to restrain Hannibal Lecter all the while yelling "but I'm not dead yet" in my best Pythonesque imitation of a British accident. Alas, the reference was lost on the paparazzi who were at least 25 years away from being a twinkle in their parents' eyes when Monty Python and The Search for The Holy Grail came out. Fortunately, this reference was also lost on the nice EMS folks who restrained themselves from whacking me over the head. And, of course, telling me "now you are."
So, after being awarded the Miss Crash Test Dummy title complete with a seat belt bruise sash for a couple of days and the inability to actually use my arms neck and back for a bit, life is good. And I even learned a few things. 1. They will not turn the siren on for one's amusement even if it is rush hour traffic 2. Crumple zones work 3. My purse apparently weighs enough to fool a car into thinking it is a passenger as it got and nailed with an airbag too and 4. Some things are better learned from other's experience.
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