Nope, not my DVD

So, I got this Microsoft benefit because I was working on a slide show for my brother’s wedding. At a hotel. In Alabama. Cute slides of him as a kid and then cuter slides of his wife as a kid and so on. Had driven close to 350 miles to work that day and was a bit tired. Slap-happy as we would say in Ohio. Or just stupid tired as they call it in Alabama.

Had checked in to a nice hotel for the evening and worked a bit on the slide production. Wanted to make sure it could play on another computer properly and show up in the right format at the wedding without incident so I burned it to my very own DVD. And then the fun began.

Given it was darn near 11 p.m., I was rightfully attired in pajama pants and a Holy Cross T-shirt given to me by my little brother. As I was rightfully and tastefully attired for the hour of the day, I saw no reason to locate and put on my shoes to venture out of the hotel room as that would have required more effort than I could muster or frankly cared to expend.

So, off I went to the business center with a huge Holy Cross emblazoned on my T-shirt and little doggies or cherries or who knows what on my jammies, clutching my DVD. Got into the business center and was greeted by a guy working on a computer. Fortunately, they had another one available right next to this guy who looked like a upstanding business man. I put my DVD in the machine and then went to launch it.

That’s when I was confounded by Vista, Microsoft’s latest and greatest operating system. The one that I don’t use, haven’t used and apparently, couldn’t use although I apparently saw that as no impediment to my actually doing so. I clicked around for the programs and commands I usually see and didn’t quite find what I was looking for. But, I do know how to “search” and search I did. For media files as that is what I had. And found some in media player as they should have been. I launched the files and sat back to enjoy my show. Sat back to just relax next to this unknown, upstanding guy in the business center who, I was sure, would love my slide show as well.

Then, I see a butt. Now, since this was a slide show about my little brother, I wasn’t immediately clued in to the fact that it wasn’t a visual of him. You know how those youngest children can be and it was getting on to midnight. He did like to show his birthmark off when he was younger. Not that I thought I had photos of that, but who knew so I figured that I had just inserted one of those pictures by mistake. After all, the parents had given me a very emphatic and strict prohibition on using any embarrassing photos without being specific. But nope, it wasn’t that as was revealed to me when said butt and other anatomical parts began moving.

Of course, my reaction was as one would expect from someone stupid tired or anyone who is me. I did the obvious which was to just sit there and wonder how the heck this got on my DVD and then about how glad I was that I had tested the DVD before the wedding as the showing of the same would probably get me disowned or without any cake, to say the least. Then, I had to ponder how the heck it got on my computer for me to put on the DVD as I sure as heck hadn’t put it there. So,how did it get there? And, then I had to consider the fact that I had seen the husband checking the so called “soccer news” lately on my computer and that he would be a dead man when I repatriated to Georgia.

Yep, just sat there in my Catholic T-shirt pondering these unanswerable questions for who knows how long. Then, the brain light came on and I realized that I wasn’t, in fact, watching my own DVD and that, perhaps, just perhaps, I should turn it off and close out of that window with all due haste and take my DVD upstairs to my room and check it’s contents so I ejected it and off I went.

So, for the upstanding guy in the room who I never acknowledged or spoke to while removing said DVD from the computer and taking my leave - yes – I know it looked like I go padding around hotels watching porn in my jammies in public places right ext to strangers for kicks and, yes, I know I probably should have made it somewhat obvious that wasn’t the case by saying something like “what the hell, that isn’t my DVD” and then turned it off before pondering the mystery of it all. But, I was tired and that would have required both effort and thought and I was out of both.

I think it was just the idea of how the viewing had to look from the outside that made me chuckle. Lady comes in, puts in porn, watches some, takes out porn, goes upstairs. And, does so in a Catholic t-shirt. Yep, for those who went to Holy Cross, I represented you well.