Ear Karma

So I went to the hairdresser to get my hair cut for a Valentines ball that we were going to. My express instructions were that after the cut these awesome, cubic zirconium earnings I own would be able to be well displayed. I had just repierced my ears a week earlier to show the kids just how cool it was and how tough Mommy really is. They especially liked the bleeding part where the bleeding wouldn't stop due to my aspirin intake earlier that day and were more than amused by the attempt to bandage one ear. After my son and I crafted the bandaging, I looked like Van Gogh on one of his slightly saner days and now suspect that I may end up with heavily pierced kids given their amazement of the whole process. I did do my share of screaming and moaning to discourage such acts in the future as any good parent would obviously do.

Now, my hair at its longest would be called "really short" so making sure the earnings were in plain view wasn't a stretch. Nonetheless, we cut off about half of my hair. And I went to the ball and hardly any blood came out of my ears and that which did was just a nod to what a woman will do for beauty. And, red was the color de jour.

Now, when I was a child, well before I morphed into the sensitive, caring, thoughtful, well-spoken, nice and unbelievably humble individual that I am today, I made a few life mistakes. Now, I could excuse them as I was probably around 11 at the time, but even if I did, the karma had already been set in motion. Although many will find this almost impossible to believe, I actually teased one of my brothers about his ears sticking out from his head when he was a child, leading him to wear a pageboy haircut for several years which made him look like that kid on some brand of paint while the other kids did not look like paint can models. This caused him great anguish as children do happen to be the meanest creatures on earth and his classmates were, of course, children. Of course, this teasing probably helped turn him into the successful man he is today although it is also possible that his higher education, JD degree and his working his butt off might have also had something to do with it but, hey, at least I planted the seed.

So, back to the hair and its consequences. I went from really short to "what were you thinking" which was, "hey, in this economy, if I cut it this short, I only have to show up three times a year."

And, I now apparently also have a haircut that is "elf like". Or so I thought I was lovingly being informed of by the son last night. He was so excited he was hollering, "MOMMY, FROM THE BACK YOU LOOK LIKE AN ELF!" I knew he was referring to those elves that have their hair painted on versus those that have that yarn stuff but who cares, he likes elves and he was lovingly comparing me to one of those great creatures. I mean, he wasn't telling me I look like a troll although I can do that look effortlessly in the morning. Nope, an elf it was. Of course, using my best Carl Rodgers reflecting skills to make sure he knows he was really, really heard I stated, "I look like an elf" which gave him the lead to add more information and he did. He informed me that " from the back YOUR EARS STICK OUT JUST LIKE AN ELF! I know I shouldn't have gone there, but awesome parent that I am, I know he needs to be really, really listened to so I stated, "from the back, my ears stick out just like an elf and that is good." Apparently, I didn't quite reflect the message accurately as he didn't quite agree with the good part as his assessment was, "Nope, not quite good". So now I'm making sure no one is standing behind me which is causing me to have to rotate in circles quite a bit. What the heck, it will grow back in three month or so. I sure hope I don't have any other karma teed up and heading my way but, even if so, I'm not going with the pageboy.