Parenting Tip on Explaining Home Equity Lines

So, As I'm tucking him in, I'm telling the five year old that I need to get up early tomorrow because I am working on a home equity line. He asks what that is. I, in the clear manner that I feel is necessary to employ when it is goody-night time, deliver the Reader's Digest version of home ownership, equity, interest rates and the economy, PMI and down payments which somehow doesn't make a whole lot of sense to him despite my comprehensive and clear explanation. So, I add that I'm just selling part of the house to the bank. Sort of like that.

He considers the lesson and lets me know that as he really doesn't envision needing his own home for several years he has chosen to reject all the wonderful learning I just provided and has only one question - Precisely, what am I selling to the bank? As it is clearly my parental duty to nurture him and mold him into a financially and fiscally responsible individual who is capable of supporting me in the style to which I had become accustomed to as soon as is reasonably possible or two weeks, whichever comes first, I decide the Finance for Five Year Olds is a valuable lesson so I go for it again. After round two and with some exasperation, he asks exactly what I am doing and for clarity and brevity, I reinforce that I am selling part of the house to a bank.

What part, he asks? It isn't my room is it? And, I must confess, I confirmed with regret that yes, I was selling his room. He seemed to think that wasn't such a great idea but was much more concerned that I would sell the playroom or the basement. I agreed not to sell either and again gave him the "Finance 101 for 5 Year-Olds" lecture on home ownership, equity, loans, interest rates and why Alan Greenspan is not my friend at the present time.

Again, he carefully considered what I had told him and processed it in such a thoughtful manner. And it was clear by his response that my wonderful presentation of "Finance for Five-Year Olds" needs just a little bit of work before it can be released to the masses.

He specifically stated that he got it. He really, really got it. No more explanation was necessary. Please. He had the answer. Mia's room would have to go and, in fact, was the perfect choice. She was little, she would forget and that would save the playroom. Yep, that would do it, he said. I saw, for a minute, the glitter of a large company's CFO in his eyes. Just outright scary even if I had it coming to me.

He did want to know exactly how I intended to send it which I thought was a very good question. He also wanted me to be careful to make sure we got Mia out of it first.

I added more to the therapy fund and then assured him that because it was entirely too hard to take Mia's room off and mail it to the bank, we would not only keep it but would keep all the other rooms in the house all together.

Oddly, he seems to tell his kindergarten teacher all the cool things from home and tomorrow is curriculum night. Somehow, I'm thinking I'm going to be explaining this one.