The Cliff Notes of Our First Camping Trip Now That I'm Recovered from PTSD

All righty, I don’t have a Sunday bulletin yet because I was earning purgatory points last night boy scout camping without blankets in a flooded tent which was laid on top of a tree root. A big gnarly one. At the bottom of a hill. And this was selected with the typhoon forecast already known. Not by me, I must add.

For the record, I also did not do the calculating and/or packing of the sleeping bags or flashlights. Neither did my kids or cats. I'm just saying, you know.

Now, although my writing is generally based upon my application of some awesome parenting technique I have applied, based upon my most recent experience, I would be remiss if I didn't at least make a few helpful suggestions on camping. So, should you ever go camping, I would recommend at least one sleeping bag per person and no less than one flashlight per two people. Of course, that is pushing it should you flood or not want to be hooked to your camping partner like two convicts in chains at night who are trying to follow one little dot of bouncing light held by a 6 year old who is a little closer to the ground than you might be. Oh yeah, I’d also recommend pillows and an air mattress, some kind of pad or a huge amount of beer which can be either drunk or slept upon as beer bottles would most probably be more comfortable than my gnarly tree root.

Also, since I’m on the topic, I’d also like to formally thank the good cubs in den 5 and 13 who retrieved me from the woods and helped me back to the lightening shelter during my fine camping experience after I made the executive decision to go to the potty without three others in attendance.

So, if you do the math, you will see that we had one flashlight, four people, and one typhoon and, as the awesome mother I am, I sacrifically gave up the light. Or didn't want the screams of the daughter to disrupt the den meeting any further. Take your pick.

Can't wait to go again.

And it has come to talking to the cat..

So, you're just going on about your life which includes quite a bit of business travel when you realize it has come to this - you call home to talk to the two little people you are missing and end up having a one way conversation with Cody, the mentally challenged cat. And, you are tired enough that this seems like an okay and perfectly sane thing to you. Yep, sort of goes like, "So, Cody, how was your day? Did you do any fun cat things? Happen to kill any bugs today to earn your keep? How's the catnip hangover going?" And so forth and so on. Cody, most probably on some cat principle I haven't been made party to, refuses to speak. But that doesn't deter my excited questioning. I have his self esteem to worry about after all.

Of course, the slide down the slippery slope to cat talk always begins by getting the son on the phone first. As he is now used to me being out of town, he has found a way to get out of answering questions, which, he tells me are quite repetitive and which he clearly answered yesterday. Inquiries like, "How was your day?" "What did you talk about in school today?" etc. Yep, repetitive questions that apparently only need to be answered once in his world. So, upon answering the phone and saying hello, he first asks if he can give the phone to his sister and then reports she doesn't want to talk to me which isn't really much of a surprise given she doesn't really talk much yet, especially to Mommy trapped in a little box. He then asks if he can give his Daddy the phone. Yes, I say, after I talk to you. Nope, he says, have stuff to do but Cody the cat wants to speak to me, puts me on speaker and from what I can tell, walks away.

Yep, that is what it has come to. A one way conversation with a cat who tries to help out around the house by killing plastic bags. On a good day. If he isn't too stoned on his catnip which, from what I can tell, isn't often. Yep, the exotic world of business travel really is something.